Stupid Things Stupid People Say, Stupidly, to Type 1 Diabetics

1. I’m happy it’s the weekend.
2. I’m grateful my new co-workers are still coming up, introducing themselves and making me feel welcome. (I’ve worked at many places where people have been very stand-offish with the new guy.)
3. I’m happy we get to see Karen this weekend, who, insanely, flew in for Owen’s birthday.

Hi. I’m Brian, and I’m a Type 1 diabetic. In recent years I’ve become aware that there’s a group of diabetics who are unhappy with the label diabetic, so they refer to themselves as PWDs, or People With Diabetes. This is stupid. I’m diabetic.

When I was diagnosed I had juvenile diabetes. Then it became Type 1 diabetes. I’m getting too old to change the terminology, although there are people who want to refer to it as this. Or these. I’m not interested in any of that nonsense. I’m diabetic.

However, I’d prefer that it be known that what I have and what Type 2 diabetics have are not the same thing. The object is the same (our pancreases do not produce sufficient amounts — or any, as in my case — insulin). However, every other aspect of the diseases (with the exception of the need to test sugars regularly) is completely different.

Anyway, here is a running list of stupid things I’ve had stupid people say, stupidly, to me about my diabetes over the years:

You’re diabetic? You can’t eat THAT!

The most recent time I heard that was from a recently diagnosed Type 2 diabetic who, after having read a book or something, decided he had the right to project on me the fact that, after having eaten too many carbs and sweet things over his life, rendering his pancreas inoperable, I was now no longer allowed to have anything for desert ever again.

I usually address that stupidity this way: I can eat whatever I want. I test my sugar numerous times, every day. I keep tight control over my sugars. I control my own destiny.

(Typically, stupid people look down their noses at me, as if they don’t believe I have control over my diabetes. To them I say f&#k you.)

Do you have to shoot up with insulin?

Heroin addicts shoot up. I inject my insulin. Numerous times a day. I used to do it with syringes, now I do it with insulin pens. I have never “shot up” anything, though, so stop being an idiot and saying moronic things.

I could never do that. I’m afraid of needles.

You, then, would die. I remember being told by a grade school bully that he could never take an injection shortly after I was diagnosed. I remember telling him he’d die because his organs would stop working. He looked a little startled. Then he went back to being a bully. (And stupid.)

Diabetes is genetic? Aren’t you afraid your son will get it?

I was actually asked this a couple times since Owen was born. Yes, I think about it and, yes, one of my greatest fears is that my son will get diabetes, and it will be linked directly to the genetics I passed on to him. I think about it every day. I think about it every time he mentions he’s thirsty. I think about it every time he’s been in a bad mood (hypo- and hyperglycemia can cause moodiness). Thanks for bringing that up. (Dick.)

You know, you could cure that with diet.

This gem was most recently told to me by the genius who believes vaccinations cause autism, and thinks the CIA was behind 9/11.

As you’ve probably guessed, I thought he was a moron. Actually, it’s Type 2 diabetes that can be controlled (and, arguably, cured) by changing your diet. Needless to say, this clown thought he knew everything about everything. You can probably tell, he was dramatically overestimating his own level of intelligence.

That sucks, you can’t eat sugar, can you?

When I’m asked this, I try to point out that, if my blood sugar is low, then eating sugar is really, really, REALLY important.  The jackalopes who have said this to me in the past usually stop listening when I get to “when my blood sugar,” and disregard anything else.

It seems like having diabetes is really easy for you.

Um, no. It’s not. It, for the most part, is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. I think about it and have to consider every variable in my day/life before making any decision. This is work. It’s not easy. I guess I should be thankful I’m able to make it look easy, but it’s not.

You’re diabetic? And you’re drinking a beer? You can’t do that!

See my answer to the first comment. I can do whatever I want. Having  beer and knowing how many carbs are associated with it are all part of living with this disease.

Do you remember that time you (had an insulin shock/freaked out/had a fit)? That was really scary.

Really? That was scary for you? That must have been so difficult for you. (I shit you not. I was picking up dinner Friday and a waiter who saw me have an insulin shock five fu&$ing years ago mentioned it to me.) Please, if you ever saw me have an insulin shock, never mention it again.

OK. I’m done venting.

UPDATE Feb. 19, 2014: The latest Stupid Thing People Say to Diabtetics:

Is that A BEEPER you’re wearing?

I was just asked this question, dripping with sarcasm, derision and scorn, by someone who, seeing me check my pump, assumed I was wearing a piece of ’90s technology, and thought it would be funny to try to embarrass me. I responded to this idiotic question by saying “No.” Idiot 1 couldn’t leave this alone, though, by saying “Well, WHAT IS THAT THING?” I replied, “It’s the machine that’s providing insulin to my body,” in a manner that dripped with sarcasm, derision and scorn.

UPDATE June 17, 2014: I’m going to get diabetes if I keep (eating/drinking/listening to/reading) this crap!

This just happened today, but it’s one that I’ve heard in the past. I typically roll my eyes and don’t say anything when I hear someone say this, but today, as I read a tweet from a former co-worker, who was talking about a Mariah Carey song and couldn’t think of an intelligent way of relating its sickening sweetness. I replied to him, saying “No, it won’t actually.” I doubt it’ll make any change to his ignorance. (Sigh.)

I despise idiotic people.